20 something,
not a thing in my name.
My birthday was sometime ago & I’m finally in my twenties omg & tbh, I don’t really like birthdays but for some reason this year, I really wanted a birthday shoot but me bring me, didn’t end up getting it done but I definitely came up with a lot of captions for it.
So, of course, Sza’s 20 something definitely came to mind & it got me introspecting about all the things that are & are not. The one that struck me the most was a conversation in 100/200 level, when I was talking to someone about my life goals & what not & I had so many things I was going to achieve by the time I was 18 & now, I’m in my twenty somethings & it feels like I’m in the same place I was in 2019 when I wasn’t even 18.
Honestly, I don’t even know I feel. I don’t feel stuck or sad, at least not yet. What I’m feeling feels like what you should feel before fear. I’m not scared yet either but I feel like this is my last chance at winging it so, it almost feels as though if I don’t figure it out this year or the next at max, I might start losing hope & intense fear would start crippling in.
Anyways, that’s enough pessimism.
On to the brighter side of my twenty somethings, I’m especially grateful for the people I’m doing it with. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m also very very thankful for the relationships I’ve formed this year that my anxiety would’ve never let me imagine was possible.
Unlike any year I’ve been, I now know what I don’t want & to be honest, that’s driving me more insane than sane but it’s worthwhile, I believe.
It’s refusing to break no contact, it’s realizing you’re the Steve lolll, it’s being less angry & choosing not to be sad cause if I were going by the amount of things that were going right, I probably would’ve lost my smile many years ago, not being mediocre,
It’s so many things for me but I’m also trying to seek opportunities & have as much fun as I can in my twenties so I have experiences & great memories to look back on & show my kids if I have any so they can have a good example too. Mainly so they can know I was a popping babe so, they can know I’ve done any shakara they might want to be doing for me🤭.
Word on the street is that I’m attending my first adult wedding next month 👀 OMG, I’m super excited for it. I’ve been looking forward to it since May or so. It’s a union between my favorite university sweethearts & I’m so giddy for it. I bought Aso Ebi (PLEASE SEND ASO EBI STYLES MY WAYYY) for the first time too so, you can see a lot of things are really happening in my twenties & it’s in my twenties Tinubu is President too?
God have mercy upon us🤲🏽
My friend also got engaged in Paris & that’s so exciting omg. I’m beyond the moon happy for her cause dreams really do come to pass & she’s just a source of reminder that life is a puzzle after all & God hears our desires!
I’ve also been actually working out too & not just saying it with my mouth this time & dare I say that I love squats & I’ve also passed the severe body pain stage so, yayy me🎉
20 something & all I have is me, my iPhone 11 & dreams with no more deadline in mind at this point. Honestly, no matter how it’s going & how discouraged I feel sometimes, I’m tired of being sad about it cause no one’s coming to save me & I’m starting to clock that but despite the fact that everything’s not going as I want, I’m not going to sulk about it (at least not today)
I’m making a conscious effort to be happy, not bored or even worse, let anybody’s dusty son bore me with nonsense talk in my twenties & honestly, I hope you’re doing the same or at least can try to while also keeping your eyes peeled for opportunities & advocating for yourself at every chance you get cause that’s something I suck at but I’m working on it lol.
Here’s to making THE MOST out of these 20somethings regardless of how it’s going!🥂Might be the toughest year of our lives but remember, it’s the youngest we’d ever be & before you say Jack Robinson, we have Grey hair & back ache, not that we don’t have back ache already thanks to Tinubu’s roads but we can at least, try to make it somewhat better while praying too.
God bless these 20 somethings, Amen✨
Softest kisses for your twentystitches,
Adunnikanbai 💙
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